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Inside the News by Mpakoo – All pieces appearing in this column are satire

All pieces appearing in this column are satire

GPHA ex-workers to picket at World Bank office

Over 5,000 ex-workers of the Ghana Ports and Harbours Authority (GPHA) who were declared redundant in 2002 have threatened to picket at the World.Bank office to force authorities to pay them their severance package. The ex-workers are made up of 1,500 permanent workers who voluntarily retired and 4,194 non-permanent workers …

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We need security now! – Ghanaian parliamentarians

Ghanaian parliamentarians are on edge following the unfortunate murder of the grandson of J. B. Danquah; member of parliament for Abuakwa North, J. B. Danquah-Adu, and a subsequent close call experienced by Barbara Isha-Ayisi, a candidate for Cape Coast North. According to sources within the parliament house and the Job …

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The God of TB Joshua, the God of Pastor Chris, and the Government of Ghana

Although they both have JM initials, President John Mahama is not President John Mills. And Mahama wants the whole world to be clear about this. No wonder he goes about blaming all previous governments, his own former boss Atta Mills included, for the woes of his current government: ‘If previous …

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I lost the election because I ran out of money – Samia Nkrumah

After her stunning defeat to Ivor Greenstreet, Samia Nkrumah has said that she blames no one but herself for ‘not doing enough susu to buy as many votes as my competitor did.’ ‘I could petition the courts for a rerun, but I won’t do that,’ Samia told journalists after the …

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Leadership of Organised Labour sets record as first Ghanaians in 2016 to believe government promises

On Friday, January 22, 2016, the leadership of Organised Labour in Ghana set record as the first Ghanaians in 2016 to claim without the faintest hint of irony or sarcasm that they wholeheartedly believe a promise made to them by government. After meeting with government to negotiate a reduction of …

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My full-time job didn’t allow me time to read through Wikileaks report – Hannah Tetteh

The Minister of Foreign Affairs and Regional Integration, Hon Hannah Tetteh, has responded to critics who accused her of failing to do due diligence before accepting two US Guantanamo Bay detainees in Ghana, by retorting that her full-time job does not allow her to devote ‘more than a few hours …

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Give to Caesar what belongs to Caesar – Government

The government has used biblical language to admonish Ghanaians to embrace the new taxes, quoting Leviticus 11: ‘Cast thy bread upon the water: for thou shalt find it after many days. Give a portion to seven, and also to eight; for thou knowest not what evil shall be upon the …

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We will suspend all the way into the Flagstaff House – NPP executives

The National Executive Committee of the NPP has vowed to suspend anyone who stands in the way of the party’s attempt to take over the reins of government from the NDC. Hours after the suspension of Dr Nyaho Tamakloe, a senior member of the NPP told journalists that nobody who …

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Government regrets opposing calls for new voters’ register

Privileged information reaching us suggests that heavyweights in the government are weeping and gnashing their teeth this Christmas and New Year season over the lack of foresight that pushed them to oppose calls for a new voters’ register. This change of heart is not because they have been won over …

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Bear with us while we end corruption on December 31 by 11:49pm – Government

The Flagstaff House has tried to assuage the anxieties of Ghanaians regarding the rising spate of corruption scandals with a press statement assuring the public that the government promises to finish the plunder of state resources before midnight of the December 31, 2015. ‘Although government is fully committed to eradicating …

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