On Friday, January 22, 2016, the leadership of Organised Labour in Ghana set record as the first Ghanaians in 2016 to claim without the faintest hint of irony or sarcasm that they wholeheartedly believe a promise made to them by government.
After meeting with government to negotiate a reduction of utility and fuel prices and salary increments, a spokesman for Labour announced to journalists proudly: ‘Government has promised to review the price increments.’
According to Labour, ‘the promise was made so passionately, so sincerely, so holily, so Mahamaically that we had no other option than believe that government is going to fulfil this promise.’
Representatives of Organised Labour also said they were waiting with bated breath for the next round of promises from government; but cynical Ghanaians have warned that ‘they might die of suffocation’ if they hold their breath waiting for those promises to be fulfilled:
‘It’s safe to hold your breath waiting for government to pronounce a new promise,’ a leading member of the Coalition of Cynical and Purposeless Lamentators cautioned, ‘but holding your breath for its fulfilment is an act of folly which would surely lead to asphyxiation!’
It will be remembered that President Mahama promised last year that as a Dead Goat, he wasn’t going to be moved by labour unrest.
‘But we believe that the Lord has worked a miracle: the Dead Goat has resurrected!’ a Labour representative said to a group of journalists before pulling out a white handkerchief and waving it in ecstatic praise to the Most High God.
Editor’s note: The ‘Inside the News by Mpakoo’ column which appears every Monday exclusively on ghanabusinessnews.com is satire.
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