We need security now! – Ghanaian parliamentarians

Parliament1Ghanaian parliamentarians are on edge following the unfortunate murder of the grandson of J. B. Danquah; member of parliament for Abuakwa North, J. B. Danquah-Adu, and a subsequent close call experienced by Barbara Isha-Ayisi, a candidate for Cape Coast North.

According to sources within the parliament house and the Job 600 building, many MPs want swift and drastic measures to put the fear of God into the assassins and their paymasters, and many more dread the thought of having to depart this life without getting to make it more beautiful for a while, using the fortunes they are busily amassing in office.

Before hurrying off into the chamber during the course of the week, the MP for Tema East, Mr Titus Glover who called for better security for MPs after the murder, told our reporter: “I’m not sure where you heard these rumours from but it won’t stop me from demanding security. We urgently need bodyguards and I will repeat that like a damaged cassette on replay, until all 275 of us are given personal guards”.

Honourable Glover was flamboyantly and flippantly dismissive when quizzed about opposition to his call and the public’s concern for the general security of Ghanaians.

“Ghanaians always have their say and we on the other hand, always have our way. I don’t know why some people want to pretend that we’re all equal; MPs are more equal than others. We are the honourables, and our security is even in the national interest,” he quipped.

The MP added that even among Ghanaian parliamentarians, “the slightly more important” and “the very important” ones will need bodyguards that can go the full mile of standing still all night in immaculate decor like a Corinthian pillar, when MPs go to bed.

According to our reporters in the building, many a parliamentarian could be overheard whispering in hushed tones, the need for quick amendment of the country’s gun laws to allow parliamentarians to carry guns without hindrance.

“It should easily take only a few minutes, just like how we usually waive the standing orders of the House to approve those tortuously voluminous book-long contracts in a flash, or under a certificate of urgency”, one unidentified voice was captured saying.

“. . . and guns could make us famous just like Donald Trump, if we carry them and advocate well for their use,” another MP said.

Editor’s note: The ‘Inside the News by Mpakoo’ column which appears every Monday exclusively on ghanabusinessnews.com is satire.

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