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Inside the News by Mpakoo – All pieces appearing in this column are satire

All pieces appearing in this column are satire

John Mahama and the epidemic of madness

They are crazy! They’ve gone absolutely insane! Someone call Profit (sorry Prophet) T. B. Joshua!’ President Mahama is now the centre of gravity of a gathering storm of an epidemic of madness. Earlier in the year, the Chief Psychiatrist at the Accra Psychiatric Hospital, Dr Akwesi Osei, warned that if …

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Kufuor prophesies nation-wide plague of yeast infection

Former President John Agyekum Kufuor has prophesied that a massive plague of yeast infection is about to hit every corner of the country, with wonderful consequences for all bakers in Ghana. Using his Oxford English, the man fondly known as ‘The Gentle Giant’ predicted that the consequence of this plague …

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Let everyone bloat the voters’ register in their own world bank – Fiifi Kwetey

The NDC MP for Ketu South, Honourable Fiifi Kwetey, has suggested that all political parties should be left alone to bloat the voters’ register in their strongholds, claiming that this is the only democratic solution to the ongoing controversy over the integrity of the register ahead of the 2016 polls. …

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Government introduces new currency for unpaid public sector workers

Unpaid public sector workers can now buy goods at the various markets across the country using government assurances, popularly known as Mahama Promises. Analysts at the Ghana Stock Exchange report that the new currency, Mahama Promise, has a higher value than the Ghana cedi, and shows remarkable robustness against foreign …

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The gods are not to blame – June 3 Disaster Committee

The gods have rejected in the clearest possible terms the testimony of their erstwhile spokesmen, the elders of the Ga State, who weeks ago had publicly declared that the destruction by flood and fire of June 3 was caused by the enraged deities of the Ga State. Speaking through their …

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REJOINDER: Assassination attempt is proof Mahama is as great as Nkrumah, JFK – Elvis Afriyie-Ankrah

Mr. Elvis Afriyie Ankrah’s lawyers have reacted to a satirical piece published on our weekly satire column ‘Inside the News by Mpakoo’ with a rejoinder. We are publishing the rejoinder in full unedited for the benefit of our readers. Thank you. Editor. We act as lawyers for the Minister of …

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Mrs Matilda Amissah-Arthur explains why China declined Ghana’s loan application

Reasons why China rejected an application for loan by the Ministry of Finance to fund the ‘Gang of Four’ projects has until now been shrouded in secrecy. The finance minister, Hon Seth Tekper, has said the loan was declined because the Chinese deemed it to be financially nonviable. However, the …

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NDC government unveils ambitious job creation initiative

The chances of the ruling National Democratic Congress (NDC) winning the 2016 presidential elections has been given a massive boost after it unveiled its most ambitious policy initiative since assuming the reins of government in January 2009. This genius policy move, according to party apparatchiks, is going to instantly eliminate …

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