The Parliament of Ghana has been cited for blasphemy for the contempt proceedings they held against Prof Alex Dodoo and Abubakar Ahmed (aka Blakk Rasta), at the end of which the speaker, the Right Honourable Doe Adjaho, pronounced them pardoned and ordered them: ‘Go and sin no more.’
Speaking on an Accra-based radio station, journalist Kwesi Pratt Jnr charged that ‘The Speaker has no right to sit in judgment and pardon anyone in the absence of Archbishop Nicholas Duncan-Williams. We all know that Duncan-Williams is the Ghanaian Man of God who has been specially anointed to proclaim people pardoned and command them to ‘Go and sin no more.’ The Speaker cannot arrogate this power onto himself.’
Prof Dodoo and Blakk Rasta were summoned to appear before the parliamentary Privileges Committee to defend themselves over accusations of having exposed the true character of the members of the august house; which character consist of ignorance and the appearance of inebriation. Ghanaians had expected a Thriller-in-Manila in parliament but to everyone’s great disappointment, the professor and Blakk Rasta promptly apologised to parliament.
But unconfirmed reports from persons present during the hearings suggest a totally unexpected reason for the quick capitulation of the two condemned souls as they appeared before the house.
It was alleged that the august house was engulfed in the suffocating stench of flatulence from the MPs. Rumour has it that the two accused persons offered prompt apologies in order to escape the unbearable foulness of the chamber. A ‘nose-witness’ later described it as ‘the foul smell of corruption.’
Parliamentarians have since been congratulating themselves and chewing chinchinga to celebrate their first great success, i.e. the extraction of apologies from the populace.
Meanwhile, bigwigs in the Flagstaff House are borrowing a leaf from the Parliamentary Book of Tyranny. Retired members of the CJA, Clement Apaak and Samuel Okudzeto Ablakwa, have warned Ghanaians to cease and desist from raising any questions about Madam Akua Donkor’s inclusion in the trip to Italy, or risk being summoned to the Flagstaff House.
In the coming days, Parliament is expected to invite ECG to appear before the Privileges Committee. Some are speculating that ECG is going to be scolded for hitting the House with a blackout while Parliament was in session, but others have given a totally different reason for the invitation. They say that Parliament is going to congratulate ECG for doing as lousy a job as Parliament itself is doing.
‘Because of your terrible services,’ the parliamentary committee is expected to tell ECG, ‘Ghanaians can look at us and say that “At least, Parliament is not the worst institution in the country.”’
Editor’s note: The ‘Inside the News by Mpakoo’ column which appears every Monday exclusively on ghanabusinessnews.com is satire.