‘To fulfil the Better Ghana Agenda,’ he said, beaming with charming smiles and exuding the sweet aroma of charisma, ‘it is my duty to ensure that there is food on the table of every single woman, man, and child in this country. And what better way to achieve this than by appointing someone with an enviable track record as Dining Hall Prefect.’
Reacting to the claims in the media that appointing a former dining hall prefect to the ministry of Water Resources, Works, and Housing was unwise, the president responded, ‘You need to eat before you can work, don’t you? And a dining hall prefect’s duty is to ensure that everyone has a dump of food in his or her plate, isn’t it? Unlike our political opponents, we’re making sure that the truly needful things are done first!’
The president was visibly excited at this move, which he claimed to be ‘an achievement’ which was going to boost his chances in the 2016 elections. ‘Now that I’ve appointed the right person to oversee the food needs of Ghanaians,’ said the president, laughing happily, ‘let’s see if Nana Addo can come up with any campaign strategy to trump that!’
Meanwhile, the Ghana Peace Council, whose motto is ‘Fa Ma Nyame,’ has intervened with a press release. They pleaded for Mr Mintah-Akandoh to be left alone. ‘The man is already a member of parliament, so if there is any harm, it has already been caused,’ the statement read.
In the meantime, in order to calm the raging storm of controversy surrounding the impending appointment of a new Electoral Commissioner, the president is said to be considering the selection of a former entertainment prefect, in order ‘to make everyone happy.’ When reporters from Joy FM called Hon Hannah Tetteh to confirm this, she gave them a stern and curt reply: ‘Bugger off!’
Editor’s note: The ‘Inside the News by Mpakoo’ column which appears every Monday exclusively on ghanabusinessnews.com is satire.