Massive Shake-up ahead in the Flagstaff House, even President not spared – Ayariga
In a statement widely described as ‘a bombshell,’ the Minister of Youth and Sports, Mahama Ayariga, has disclosed an impending ‘massive shake-up’ in the Flagstaff House. The statement did not disclose much but ominously hinted that even President Mahama may be affected by the impending move. A source at the Flagstaff House said under conditions of anonymity that the president might be reassigned to the Ministry of Foreign Affairs ‘so that he could continue the good work of globe-trotting.’
This announcement and a subsequent interview that Ayariga granted to a radio station has generated a good deal of panic in the country. In the telephone interview, Ayariga had little to say when he was asked how a president could possibly be reshuffled out of office, beyond observing that it obviously meant the president was not the person behind the reshuffle.
However, when pressed by the interviewer to name names, he said that the government is ‘not yet aware’ of the identities of the person machinating the reshuffle. The interviewer, Kwame Sefa-Kayi, was evidently dismayed, noting that this was the third time this month that key decisions and actions have been taken in the country on the blind side of the president; the other two being the air-lifting of football supporters to Equatorial Guinea and the decision of GNPC, a state agency, to give each Black Stars player a $25,000 cash reward after the just ended AFCON games.
At this point, the minister abruptly ended the interview, saying that he had more intelligent people to talk to. But before hanging up, he advised the talk show host to shove any further questions into that opening in the posterior end of his anatomy.
It appears that this mysterious agent is also working wonders in the opposition NPP. Dr Nyaho-Tamakloe has had occasion to blame this spectral figure as the real brain behind a controversial opinion piece bearing his name, which appeared on various internet news outlets last week. Reports indicate that Dr Nyaho-Tamakloe was as livid as Hon Ayariga when he disclaimed responsibility for the article under his name.
Meanwhile, charismatic preacher and head of Action Chapel, Archbishop Nicholas Duncan-Williams has vowed to disclose the identity of the mysterious person behind these acts of mischief. Quoting Ephesians 6:12, the preacher told Ghanaians that ‘we’re wrestling not against flesh and blood,’ and warned that only fasting, prayers, and regular tithe-payments will avert these and similar calamities. But controversial preacher, Pastor Obinim, has claimed that he will be able to solve this mystery with only half of Duncan-Williams’ requirements.
Government has, however, assured Ghanaians that it is fully in control of things, and has asked people to remain calm ahead of the reshuffle. Kofi Adam, NDC national organiser, has praised Archbishop Duncan-Williams and Pastor Obinim for their initiative, and has advised Ghanaians, while they await these changes, to emulate the chiefs of Gonja and Asogli, and fast and pray to god and the ancestors to intervene quickly. Meanwhile, in preparing for his new role, President Mahama has taken a day’s trip to Rome.
Editor’s note: The ‘Inside the News by Mpakoo’ column which appears every Monday exclusively on ghanabusinessnews.com is satire.