We will win 2016 elections with sympathy votes – NPP


Card-bearing members of the NPP have dismissed concerns about the growing spate of violence in their party which recently led to the second murder of a member of the party this year.

‘The fratricides occurring in the party will help us attract sympathy votes,’ Sammy Awuku, who recently called for a ‘revolution,’ told our reporters.

NPP members also agreed that killing themselves was the best way of showing Ghanaians that they were both ready and committed to take over power from the NDC administration come 2016.

‘We are ready but the problem is that our leaders are fighting among themselves, so now we don’t have a campaign strategy,’ a die-hard NPP sympathiser told our correspondents, ‘that is why we are killing ourselves, so that we can attract sympathy votes. Very soon, we’ll even start committing suicide.’

He declared that this shows true commitment: ‘If we’re killing our own selves, imagine what we’ll do to NDC members,’ he said, desperation flashing out of his bloodshot eyes.

Another NPP member we interviewed said that these days, he spends all his time loitering around the party headquarters, ‘…because I don’t want to miss’ any fights.

‘I’ve even started “doing macho” so that I can wound someone next time a fight breaks out at the party office,’ he told our reporter, and flexed his hefty muscles to show that he wasn’t kidding.

Editor’s note: MIDWEEK EDITION: The ‘Inside the News by Mpakoo’ column which appears every Monday exclusively on ghanabusinessnews.com is satire.

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