I will remind Mahama to dismiss Sam George – Koku Anyidoho

Koku Anyidoho
Koku Anyidoho

Koku Anyidoho, NDC Deputy General Secretary, has vowed to wipe Sam George off the Ghanaian political landscape. Speaking on an Accra-based radio station, Koku revealed that President Mahama had decided long ago to dismiss the NDC communicator, ‘but he keeps forgetting to do it.’

This comes days after Sam George attacked engineers at VRA using plain English. ‘Why can’t he employ grandiloquence in his delivery,’ wondered Koku, who is himself famous for linguistic gymnastics. He spoke with nostalgia about the heydays of Dr Josiah Aryeh and Kwadwo Twum Boafo, who, he said, ‘transformed political pugilism into a fine art’ and sent their listeners scampering for their dictionaries.

‘The president keeps forgetting to fire the boy,’ Koku said when asked why the firing is taking so long to happen. The Deputy General Secretary revealed that the president has been infected with a disease known as ‘Short Memory Syndrome,’ a specifically Ghanaian ailment which is said to be an air-borne disease. Doctors at the Korle-Bu Teaching Hospital say that this disease is degenerative and could result in an incurable condition known as ‘Selective Myopia.’

‘I’ll remind the president when he returns to Ghana that he hasn’t yet fired Sam George,’ Koku reiterated. Meanwhile, sources at the Flagstaff House said they were unsure when the president was going to return to the country or indeed his current location. He was last seen in The Gambia where he was heard blaming multinational corporations like Apple, Nokia, and Samsung for causing the power crisis that Ghanaians are currently reeling under. He referred to the mobile phones these companies sell to Ghanaians as ‘Trojan horses.’

In the president’s absence, the opposition NPP organised a massive demonstration. But the NPP has been sharply criticised by the police and some NDC activists for veering off the approved route and diverting their protest route to the Internet.

Kwesi Pratt, editor of the Insight newspaper, described this diversion as ‘a fraudulent attempt on the part of the NPP to generate national interest in the power crisis, sorry – challenge,’ which, according to him, ‘only affects members of the NPP.’

On their part, the NDC is also organising a demonstration, but this time in support of Dumsor. ‘Let’s admit it, we may not have light but at least we have water flowing through our taps,’ said a spokesman for the upcoming demonstration, ‘even if that water is salty.’

In related news, the majority side in parliament is expected to lay a bill in the house later today to ban forthwith the importation of mobile phones and tablets into the country. Sources at the presidency said that the president will start reading his speeches from printed A4 sheets.

Editor’s note: The ‘Inside the News by Mpakoo’ column which appears every Monday exclusively on ghanabusinessnews.com is satire.

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